September 26, 2011(sober karaoke)

Day 9th..

P.s. Why is the cab driver asking me "how much and pay?"  "huh" "how much and pay?" Gimme my change and let me tip you.This is not Chinatown and I am not trying to buy a fake Fendi!  This is also after he tried to convince me that I should take the Billyburg bridge instead of the Manhattan. Dude I happen to know where I live and I am reeeeally sober!. It takes me 6 mins to get to my house. Take the route I told you. So what you are having a slow night? (this is what he told me btw). I am not trying to contribute to your pay check more than I should. The Billyburg will cost me $15 AS opposed to the $10 cab fare I am use to paying via Manhattan, literally #ripoffcabman.


Other than that my day off was the bomb!

Time is of the essence.

As I watched Bill Rancic trekking to Haiti to help kids and families in need, I asked myself, what is it that I am doing to change the world? What am I doing to change myself? Time to be brave, time for a change. I have the power to accomplish anything. My problems are nothing, my problems are miniscule, my problems are fixable. Open up and live. Life is definitely too short and ever changing. No time for depressions or self-loathing. Be self motivated and make wonders work. Start enjoying the things I can't change. What am I waiting for? WAKE UP AND LIVE!!!!! Tomorrow starts today!

They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting...

So hey I just wanna check in to make the few people that read these blogs know that I am still alive. I have just been waay toooo busy for any human being possible, but you know what, I am not complaining. It could be worst. I now manage to have myself two jobs that basically take up all my days and if that isn't enough I told my crazy self that its now the right time to start a business. So yes super busy. I sometimes, wonder how you guys are doing and what's good in your lives. The few I see these days, well, you know whats up and for the others then feel free to leave me a lil comment and what's been going on with you and also the things that are bugging you and your happy moments as well. I have to say one thing though my life has changed drastically over the last two months!. I think I have gained 5lbs, so I guess the living must be easy! Some say I needed those 5lbs, but please, dont let me get started on those few! lol. Hope the summer is going well and all is great! I must return now to the lil five hours of sleep I may get before I pull myself off to work!
Peace, love, joy and happiness!
Sleepless.

Alcohol is a hellava drug!!!

"How do you always end up in situations like these, damn I wish I could see that". That's what Daphnee told me after the eventful week I had. It was funny coz I was just thinking that to myself. Often I asked myself why I started this blog? Was it because I really can not sleep or is it for the random shit that I happen to run into daily?

I am extremely exhausted right now but if I don't write this I will forget it in a few days. As I write this I'm still not sure what heading I should put for it because I know as I get deeper into it, the topic will somehow pop into my head....

Can we please just go back to last week already?.

I am newly estranged from a boy, that I have been involved with, for two fucking years. I'm not bitter, just was ready to probably be over it. I hoped! So instead of going home to my bed, I went out drinking.

Note these are actual events that took place in a week of my life, if I wasn't there I would have never believed it.

Sunday May 8, 2011, I worked brunch which sucked. I went into the city to meet with a friend that I have been meaning to meet up with for like a month now. That was lovely! We had dinner, well she had dinner and I had a glass of chardonnay. This ended earlier than I thought so I headed back to Brooklyn.  Now you guys are probably wondering why am I not getting to the point. But I figure you have to go through the week just as I DID! DAMNIT!.
Monday I went home after work and slept, good thing though coz that's probably the last good sleep I got all that week.

Tuesday night I had decided to head home after work, you know to catch up with my TV shows, but then as I started to walk home I somehow convinced myself to stop at the Emerson. My convincing argument was that I got off work early (1am) and so I will have a night cap and head home, wrong wrong! As I neared the bar I saw one of my drinking buddy and I knew some Jameson shots were near. As they were and that night ended at 7 am, because somehow I was convinced that hanging out at my friends house, after the bar had closed on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, was the best idea yet. Wrong, wrong. Woke up at 3pm and had to go to work, which I was pretty sure I was still drunk for.

Wednesday; the night went well, the pace was great for my drunken hungover-ness. I should note to myself that if I say I am going home after work, it usually mean that I was somehow gonna be home at the crack of dawn, and that's exactly what happened. Tell me why I was at Rope, until 5am, just talking my lip off? Thanks Kevin, I was really gonna go home!..Now I should have known better!  Erica if you are reading this, please feel free to Kick me out of the bar at 4am...I will completely understand and my liver will be grateful!
Okay, so alright, I will now get to the good part. Oh I must tell you Wednesdays are usually my Fridays, and for the non-industry peeps, this means that I get the next two days off and so I will call them my weekends!

Thursday I went into the city with Kate to this Live HIP HOP show, which was amazing by the way. Had a blast! But before we got to that. I met up with Kate and before we rode the subway into the city we stopped at the liquor store to get some mini bottles, you know, for the ride. Note at this point there were talks of meeting up and having dinner before the show. SO tell me why we ended up at this bar on 3rd ave where the name and I swear, was called 5 Shots Of Anything For $10? Now I'm sure my fellow drinkers who live and work in the city probably know this spot. Kate and I on the other hand were excited, well a little too excited as we both decided to get the "deal". Partly coz I only drink Jameson and Kate didn't want anything to do with that, so she got her own jagermeister. Now, at this point somebody should have stopped us, well the bouncer kinda did, telling Kim that she couldn't sit in the fire hazard section (now this "section" was at the bar close to the front but by no means a fire hazard) He was just being a douche as all DOORMEN do! Yes I have issues with them because they think that they are standing at the pearly gates and they are God, who is the only one that can let people in. Yea right?!! I can do what a want and go where a please. Anyways we took the shots, me 5 Jameson and Kate and Kim shared the jagers. Oh  yeah I forgot to tell you that Kim met up with us! Then we proceeded to the show! This was an awesome show, at which by this time My French Friend who was in town on business, got caught up!. Now it seems like this night was never gonna end but it was still pretty early 9pm. I left the spot at around 11pm in search of food. I didn't find what I was looking for and so I had pringles and chips and a bottle of champagne and some beers. Now you would think that this would have been enough and the night should have ended, but, wrong, wrong! It was by now midnight and I had the best idea yet. We needed to do some pickle back shots.. Note some of the nights events will be omitted due to privacy. Needless to say we went to Whiskey Town and had us some pickle back shots and took some photo booth picture and at some point I LOST my friend and I went home to my bed. Thank god I am only a ten min cab ride from the city!

Now its Friday, and I slept in a little, until about 4 in the afternoon. I then texted Daphnee who's evening sounded like the evening I wanted to shared in, so I went to Queens. Now if you know how far Queens is from me you would have called it a night. But no, I wanted to hang out with Daph. We haven't seen each other in min and needed some girl time! Girl times are great, that's when we bust out the vino and talk about the guys we hate to love and the ones we can't stand, the ones we which were never born and the ones we wish would just drop dead and so on and so forth. Yes I did eat! We went to a great lil restaurant down the street. We ordered a bottle of wine and proceeded the night. This was one of those fun night that I think ended at 3am. I had big plans to stay in Queens, and in bed I was, until my friend called me to join him in the city! So I went all the way to the Gramercy Hotel! We opened a bottle of champagne and once again the night was blurry.

Saturday I definitely knew I woke up drunk and had to go to work. So you know your still drunk the morning after, when the cab driver told you you smell like "drink". He said, "you drink?" I told him yes I was last night. He said,  "it too much, too much, I can't take you". Seriously? Who gets kicked out of a car for smelling too much like alcohol in NYC? Everybody is drunk or has been drinking at SOME POINT, in a cab, in NYC! I am pretty sure he didn't want to take me to BK during rush hour. I was shocked but couldn't even put up a fight because then I had just enough time to jump in another cab and hightailed it to Brooklyn to get to work. Drunk and pumped I got to work late( only 11mins). Only to find out that I will be pulling a 12 hour shift of which my manager forgot to tell me! Fuck my life. I am gonna be drunk, then hungover, and won't be going to sleep until 5am. Boy was I WRONG! After work I got a text from my friend saying that there is a party in his room. Now any normal human being would say no, but I am not normal nor do I want to proclaim to be and so I took a cab, in the rain, and probably got there around 5:30 am!. Now this is where the plot thickens and the highlight of my weekend began.

Now Sunday morning, at 5:30am, when all the rest of the world is asleep, I happen to walk into my friends room on a threesome that was just about in progress. Now once again, any normal person would leave, but I am not NORMAL and I have now become a blogger and I needed material for my blog (this is not an excuse lol), so I stayed. I opened a bottle of Johnny Black, sat on the couch pull out my pack of smokes and enjoyed the show. Now, these are some of the most loving people I have ever met and they were very accommodating to me, but this was like watching a car crashing and you just can't look away because you wanted to see if there were any survivors to call 911 I guess. I was tired so it felt like I was in an alternate universe. I don't watch porn period. Not my style. I am sort of an instant gratification kinda gal. But the things that I saw that night was very surreal to me and it just made me think that you really don't know a person until you see what they do in the bedroom. AND YES I REALLY DO NEED A REALITY SHOW for the things I happened upon and in writing they get lost in translation. No I didn't participate, not my style either, well actually I did because I was in the room watching and drinking and listening to the music. I am not sure of what it is that I can actually blog about, because I don't want them to shut my blog down for being too explicit, but I have to tell you I always happen to be in the right places at the right times. Now bare in mind I am a pastor' s daughter and I try to live my life as free as possible while still holding on to my values. I, however, like to go out on a limb every once in a while to see how far I can go before it breaks. I will not go into details for the privacy of the people involved,  but I have to tell you I was in shocked the whole day Sunday and well into Monday! Now I am not one to judge, and to each their own,  and I am sure I am gonna take away some beautiful friendships from this experience. At first I felt a little dirty just for being there and watching, but after I spoke to a few friends about it, I felt better. This is apparently a fantasy for a bunch of people I know! Everyone, at some point, would love to walk into a room and have front row seat to a threesome. Some would even be glad to participate. I remembered all I could think about was how grateful I am to be blogging at this juncture in my life, and thank you guys for bringing on the new material! I, at some point, fell asleep and was awoken the next few hours by more sex and dancing. So I did the next best thing and ordered some breakfast and champagne for mimosas. Too bad they forgot the o.j. and so we had eggs, sausages, toasts, and bacon, with champagne in martini glasses. Fancy huh?. My gay friend, the other non-participant for obvious reasons, who is as delightful as he is beautiful, claims that he Loves sausages, to which I responded, no pun, right? And to top off the Alice in wonderland night I had, I was downstairs sitting on the curb and smoking a cig, in front of the hotel I had obviously just witnessed the most jaw-dropping, open mouth threesome, (told you 2011 was gonna be a great year ha ha), I happened to look up and SUE SYLVESTER was walking into the same hotel!. Come on I am never star struck but it was Jane Lynch! She waved and continued into the hotel. HMMMM I wonder if she is gonna stay in my friend's room,  after all it was a penthouse suite and he was checking out that same day!

Stranger things have happened....for your relaxation

Using only song titles from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to other music-loving people. Try not to repeat a song title. Go!

Artist: "Amy Winehouse"

Are you male or female: "cupid"

Describe yourself: "addicted"

How do you feel about yourself: "you know I'm no good"

Describe where you currently live: "rehab"

If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be: "close to the front"

Your best friend is: "procrastination"

Your favorite color is: "back to black"

What's the weather like: "Some unholy war"

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called? "alcoholic logic"

What is life to you: "its my party"

What is the best advice you have to give? "take the box"

If you could change your name, what would it be: "valerie"

What do you most fear: "round midnight"


As Always,
Sleepless

Do guys really expect Ladies to put out on a first date?.. AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX!

So these days I am in the business of dating, and I find this hard to believe, and I wish I could figure this out, for the sake of proving that there are still some gentlemen or women for that matter, left in this world, so I will try and keep an open mind.

Its funny coz I remember when a first date means, you go on a "decent" date, have dinner and then part ways after the evening is over. So, why now I see more and more first dates ending the morning after?

For instance take Fiona, a beautiful and talented 28 year old single gal in the city. She is on the hunt to find MR PERFECT (which really doesn’t exist). She hails from a great home and has the potential for great things. So why is it that a date for her has to be the "oops" factor the morning after? Are we expecting too much sexually that we can’t wait  for a decent amount of dates before we bed? Or are we being too hard on ourselves? Why are we in such a rush to skip the stages of relationships? Once again, are we being too hard on ourselves? 

AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX! I will come back to that. 

Yully, a girl from down the block, is a very beautiful and blunt human being….give her a few drinks and she is on the hunt or becomes a prey for someone who is on the hunt. Again, are we selling ourselves too short,  even if we take the guy home and not sleep with him? This is a total stranger that we welcome into our homes and lives. He, for all we know, could be the next serial killer or just for the sake of our hearts, a serial dater. When did we become so desperate that we will give up our safety in the pursuit of finding Mr Right? Is this a result of society or the environment that we live in? Is it putting too much pressure on us to give in too easily?

AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX!

I read an article, in the Huffington Post a few months ago, which really opened my eyes to the dating world of NYC. This was in itself one of the truest form of reading on dating in NYC. I really don't know where the damn article is at the moment, and I really don't have the time to Google it.  It was just stating that the ratio of women to men living in the city is 3>1. This giving men the advantage of picking several mates simultaneously to see which one he likes. This is a situation related to the TV show "The Bachelor". With these odds in favor of men, of course they are always gonna come out the victor. This however, by no means, has to let a Lady feel the need to lesson her standards. 

AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX!

Haven't you heard of the phrase "two can play this game"? Just because the odds are in favor of men, doesn't mean that we as ladies don't have a fair playing field. We just need to think more clearly on the options that we set for ourselves. This is not taking away from the few of us that really just wanna have fun. I say to each their own. Just don't bitch about it the next day. Hold your own and make no excuses!

AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX!

But is it the men to be blame for this shift in dating? Or is it us as females that are letting this kind of male behavior stifle our culture? We can rethink that last glass of wine or whiskey if it means that tomorrow we can wake up guilt free or the walk of  the shameless, for the lack of a better word. 

AFTER ALL IT'S JUST SEX! 

Come on, are we still in college? And also do we really expect a whole lot or a lifetime of love, from someone who really doesn't have the decency to say, "It was a lovely evening. I will talk to you tomorrow".  Boys will be boys, it is engraved in them from earlier on to think with their genitals at all times. I mean, if we can't say no and we should be the more tolerable beings (withholding sex the longest),  then how can we expect that from someone who is gung ho with the baby batter continuosly on their brains? GEES IT'S JUST SEX!. Whether we chose to have it or not. Just OWN whatever your stands on that matter may be.

I will leave you all with a little quote from an article that I came across last night

[Ask E. Jean: How long should I wait to sleep with a man? I don’t want to give it up too soon, but I don’t want him to lose interest.
A: You can sleep with a man as you’re being introduced, for all Auntie Eeee cares. It’s what you do afterward that seals the deal. If you cling like a needy dingbat, forget it. If you let him know he’s a marvel but not the only marvelous thing in your life, he’ll desire you even more intensely.

http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/ask-e-jean-25-things-every-woman-should-know-512948

YAAY! One for Auntie E.

To be a Gentleman and a Woman, means owning up to your desires guilt free and shamelessly.

So I say, is it really the guys who expect us to put out or are we the ones responsible for these expectations?

Sleep on it,
Sleepless

What a wonderful world this can be...

So this is Thursday, March 24, 2011 and the night started off at about 5:30pm. I went to get the G to head into the city for a Post bday celebration with Daphnee. Did I also mentioned that I can't be late. The G however had other plans for me. I tried to swipe my card but for some reasons it wouldn't let me in. I was there and a few people came swiped their cards and they got in. I decided to purchase a new card and guess what the same thing happened and then I heard the train coming. I finally got through, ran down the stairs only to see the back of the train departing. Pissed off I sat and waited for the next train. And of course the only obnoxious female with the loudest music in her ear had to sit beside me. I finally got a train, got to 34st and I was 30 mins late. I'm sure Daphnee didn't believe my train story.  We then proceeded further uptown to Hell's Kitchen where we found the cutest little Mexican Restaurant, with what seems at the time, the best frozen margaritas. I had the mango with salted rims yummy! The food was great too, I had shrimp tacos and I swear that was the most shrimp I have ever gotten in a taco, but the catching up on the weeks events with Daphnee was amazing. I always have the best time with Daphnee, one of the sweetest, kindest, most genuine person I know, beautiful and unbiased kinda gal! After Dinner we hauled ass to the highlight of the evening's events...Now for those who didn't happen to see or hear from me during the week of my bday, then you might not know what I am talking about, but for those who have, then I know you guys were secretly jealous of the BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT a girl like me could ask for. Daphnee took me to go see a Broadway show and not just any show, MEMPHIS. Probably one of the best things I have experience in a long time. I was soo excited. The show was great and the evening was perfect. God, moments like these just makes me feel good to be alive and great to have wonderful people in my live, not to say that if we had gone to MacDonald's or White Castle it wouldn't have been equally as special. It would have been. This btw was my first Broadway show and you were right Daphnee I think I am now addicted and I think we need to go see many more.

..And you love me, Because?

So I kinda felt like it was the full moon because my day went in series of events....

First up: I slept for nine hours and I really didn't feel like leaving the bed...(yea big sign of what to come)

Secondly: got to work and Kevin wasn't waiting...ummmm!
Thirdly: I felt like I needed some Vitamin C (yea big problem when that happens)
Fourthly: ...Mark was in an expectionally great mood.
Fifth: I got cussed out by Bill( the local drunk who told me that I was a condescending arrogant fucking bitch). See if you know me, and Bill, at this point you would be apologizing for Bill..He is kinda a DRUNK IN A BIG WAAY. (story that will come to you guys later..it was hilarious and for no reason, sorry Bill you are waay too old for me).
Sixth: Some weird guy came in and wanted GREY GOOSE ina  glass, when I said umm, on the rocks he said yea whatever.
Seventh: I said the to weird guy " that will be eleven dollars" he said his credit card is not working.....he paid me eventually and tipped me a  WHOLE dollar BIG WHOOP!
Eight: I walked home and was enjoying the walk so I went to Rope...had a great time, my now favorite bartender was working.
Ninth: Axel txt me to see if I wanted a bed? (umm really dude)
Tenth:...drinking my jameson and went home...yea best part ever


So I guess my night turned out to be a sucky kinda night....How was your night? Please let me know IF it was waaay better. I will feel better about myself if you have the worst night ever...ha ha , just kidding.

Have a great St Paddy's day EVERYONE!!!!

It should be peoplekind and not mankind.......

So its 7:22 am and I can't sleep. So much is on  my mind that I feel I need to get paid just to be up and thinking. Speaking of which I was told a story the other day which is still bothering me. So it was a typical friday night, and my girl Tiffany was over my house, and I was doing some spring cleaning as usual. I decided to redecorate my room to make it more comfortable or at least to rid myself of the January and February blues. Anyway, I am really not trying to stare from the conversation at hand. Now Tiffany, being as fly and as lovely as she is, brought a 6 pack and we got to vibing. Now a lil background about Tiff, she is a dancer and she also teaches dance to an after school program. You know trying to get the kids to learn or interact more outside of school( this is for those who aren't sure of what an after school program is) he he. Anyways, we were talking about cultures and races and what is it that we feel is necessary to make people more aware and more proud of who they are. It was a long topic, waaaay too long for my writing. She then got to telling me a story that she heard in her class. She over heard a little black/African-American girl, telling a little white/Caucasian boy a "joke" that a little white/Caucasian girl, told her,

African-American girl: Why is Black People always moving to the left, to the left?
Caucasian Boy: Why?
African-American Girl: Because they gots no rights.
(btw Black people aren't always moving to the left. I only knew about that from that Beyonce's song or should I say Neyo's writing).

Now see if I was Tiffany I think I would be frozen to the ground. But Tiffany being all things great, scolded her and told her not to repeat that joke again. Because she is "Black People" and if so be the case then she "gots no rights".

Now this makes me sad. This is 2011 people, in NYC!!!! Do we really need to go there with our kids? Shouldn't we at least know better, seeing that we are living in one of the most progressive cities in the world? Shouldn't we know how, in the least, to educate our kids? If you haven't gotten the memo: They are our future and we have to teach them well so they can lead the way. I mean I have seen and done a lot of things in my life (heh heh), but the one thing I know how to do is love everyone individually and not as a nation or race. (I mean some people I don't care too much for, come on I'm human, but I don't hate them). I mean I truly believe that the only race God made(or whatever you all believe in, I believe in God so I have to use him) was The Human Race. Then why I do asked, we practice so much hate? I mean  gee weez when will this end? When are we gonna learn to educate on loving everyone as human beings? Is it ever gonna end?.  I was recently reading this article online and it opened my mind so much to the point where I had a whole new take on racism.

The article I was reading is from YKHong. http://ykhong.com/whiteness.pdf.  This is a very good read by the way). There was a line in his article that reminded me of this situation and I quote: "I would rather know something is blatantly racist than have to do a double-take and think about it for a while.When a white person stops thinking they have white privilege or that they are no longer a part of racism, when they say they are "progressive or radical" and believe they are one of the "cool white people," when they surround themselves with people of color, and think it's okay for them to enter spaces for people of color because they are escorted by them, when we as people of color enable this, when they have the language
to talk about racism and anti-racism, is when racism becomes the most lethal". IS WHEN RACISM BECOMES THE MOST LETHAL. He went on to say and I quote " With the  "cool white person",  it is harder to pinpoint and less likely someone will call them out because of the trappings of "political correctness". Often, because they separate themselves from the gunrack whites and surround themselves with people of color, or live in "the ghetto", they feel they do not have white privilege".

I am by no means attacking the white race so pardon me if you think this is where this is going, I am just merely stating a point of view that I haven't heard in a long time and which I think is true and refreshing.
All I am saying parents, and this goes for all races (human race), make sure you think before you educate your kids. Sometimes its the little things we do or say when we think they are not watching or listening that will make a big impact on them.
 Just remember there is only one father up above and he made only one race; The Human Race. Yes I stole that from secret millionaires but it is so true. Have a wonderful and productive day.

This is by no means my words but I feel its a good moment to just put it out there.....

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. SOMETIMES THEY ACT UP AND FORCE YOU TO TAKE A STAND.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
THEIR WORK IS DONE. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to MOVE ON.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come
to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.  IT IS SAID THAT LOVE IS BLIND BUT FRIENDSHIP IS CLAIRVOYANT.

Thank you for being a part of my life the reasons and the seasons. Lifetime we ride...thank you for being a friend.

Life is all about realizing a situation and moving on. If it's broken and you can't fix it, sometimes it's just better to put the broken TV set on the side of the road and just go get a new one.

As always,
Sleepless