The Last Year: 365 1/4

It's been a whole year since I started this blog and I have to say the last year was perfect. I think the last year seems like how life should be.

I have never been more confused in my life,  yet more determined to see my dreams through.
I have never lost so many friends, yet somehow becoming closer to the few that matters.
I have never seen so many different sides to a person,  yet finding the qualities worth keeping.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE CONFUSED,  BUT YET SO SURE ABOUT WHAT I NEED FROM LIFE.

I have gotten so many job offers this year,  but somehow managed to settle into a familiar place.
I said goodbye to old roommates and welcome new ones that seems to fall right into place.
I said goodbye to old lovers, met new ones but somehow realized that this journey, that I am on,  I must go alone.

There have been a few regrets but they only motivates me!

For the first time in my life I know what it is I truly want.
I know which career path I will choose.
I know where I want to live.
I know what it is I want in a guy.

I now live to not compromise my morals and integrity.

So why do I feel so far away from it all? This is a strange feeling,  one that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN, but one that I am excited about. I feel like I finally hit the fork in the road at the crossroad, you know when you're stuck between a rock and a hard place? I have this overwhelming feeling that this is it and that everything is gonna fall into place right after this moment. There are these butterflies in my belly that I can't explain. It's a constant feeling of wanting to smile all day with this great dread. I feel relaxed and anxious. I can't seem to get rid of the butterflies. I don't want them to stop. I love the feeling of not knowing what's next.

I love it all. WISH ME LUCK.

I feel like this whole year, if it didn't teach  me much, it taught me how to let go and move on.
It taught me how to forgive and forget.
It taught  me that not every battle is mine to fight and that sometimes my place is in the bleachers cheering everyone else on.
It taught me to look at moments like these and enjoy them and not having to analyze them.
It taught me peace.

I am now living for myself and not vicariously through everyone's perception of me.
I am happy!

So whats next you might ask?

Life as it pertains to me.........

P.s. my computer was harmed in the making of this blog. LOL!
Niters!

And don't let the bed bugs bite!
Sleepless.

The List :You would see the biggest gift would be from me

When life hands you lemon, the natural reaction is to make lemonade right?

But what if you can't make lemonade and what if you don't want to?

I find that when life hands ME lemon, is when I call a few of MY best gals and talk. It's so funny how talking is underrated at times. I know coz I hit a low the other day and who would have thought that having a few phone conversations with my friends, who have no hidden agenda but to console me, would be the answer.

I did!

It's amazing how we have all the holidays in the world, but never a Friendship Day!

I think WE should all have a day where friendship is celebrated, yay!!!!!!

A National Holiday like Christmas, where you do nothing but celebrate the one time you choose to have such wonderful people in your life. The ones who are there for you when even your Mama can't solve your problems.

The ones who know you inside out.

The ones that can actually call you at 3 in the morning to tell you that they just met a guy who is perfect for you, ha! (Well, I prolly have done and will do that..he he, sorry guys).

The ones who believe that your tears are just another way to get to know you better.
The ones who you can say to, can you check to see if my boobs look great in this dress and they honestly tell you to go change.
The ones who DON'T just call you to bitch about the bad day they are having without giving a second thought that you could be having the same.
The ones who DON'T emotionally drain you with their problems, and then never wants to listen to yours.
The ones who knows how many people are in your family and if you should ever need them to fill out a paper, you know with confidence that they know your middle name, and date of birth, without having to go on Facebook.

I have been blessed with a few and trust me honey, that's all you will ever have time for in this lifetime.

A few great people that will be forever your best friends. Your Sex And The City pals, your Golden Girls.

So I take this moment to say I appreciate ya! And yes we will have a National Friendship Day where we all go out and paint the town red (and Kate no running home early. Yes we all know you are not use to being out this late, but it's National Friendship Day) lol!

Brunch it if we must, but that's gonna be the best day, when it's just not about the individual being (i.e. birthdays), but the whole bunch of  We's (long Island style), Ha ha... Cameca, Daphnee, Kim, Kate and Nedra (We all know who my bridesmaids are now, Fuck!).



I appreciate ya! And in the words of Kim, I appreciate y'all! Thank you for being there for me when my lemon needs THAT much sugar to make the lemonade perfect.

Thank you for being a friend

                                                   Traveled down the road and back again
                                                 Your heart is true your a pal and a confidant.

                                                            And if you threw a party
                                                    Invited everyone you ever knew
                                       You would see the biggest gift would be from me
                               And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.

P.s. I was gonna do 'The List' in order, but when in the hell have I ever conformed to order.

Have a good night sleepy heads. I am gonna go watch Felicity!

As always,

Sleeplesss.