Believe in miracles..........

It's always the perfect thing, when you are feeling some sort of way, and then a person come at you from left field. He has been listening to the song in your heart, to say just enough of what you should be listening to, to set a clear path. Total strangers will get you like this sometimes. What is it about them that makes you actually listen, even though close friends and families say the same things all the time?

I believe in timing and miracles.

Life is wonderful, I just happen to be looking away for most of it. I am feeling a kinda way these days. Not sure what it is, but it seems like a change is coming and I am gonna love it. I have these butterflies that won't go away. I feel like I am constantly high and these waves of emotions are here to stay.

I have the sudden urge to sing Big Girls Don't Cry, by Fergie. (Hmm, wonder what that's all about?)

Or to just break out into 'Listen' by Beyonce. I am not even a fan. But it feels, the people I am a fan of, aren't that inspiring at the moment, so I have to switch tunes (pun intended) for a minute. Same goes for a lot of the things that are around me.

I am bored and uninspired.

I find meeting up with old friends and conversing with strangers helps.

Yoga and walking clears my head.

It's weird and I never thought I would say this, but, I miss the heat. I miss the sweat of the 100 degrees, and the nice cool breeze is just a reminder that the year is almost over. Summer is gone and it's only just began. This seem to be a trend. I guess it's true, nothing last forever, and there's never any time, so....


....I need to be with myself and center?

Damn! There goes that Fergie again.

I'm all alone at a crossroad....

These songs just wont let me be.


So until next time,

Sleepless.

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive..........I'm feeling good!

I am not a victim, I am a survivor. I keep remembering this even when times are hard, and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't be mad or even apply the energy to give up, because that statement for me is true.

The day before your life changes is just an ordinary day. How awesome that feeling can be? And that is true for all the awesome things that happens, come what may. 

It's just so great to be existing in a state of perpetual bliss, where everything that goes wrong points to better opportunities. From the drunken old pervert on the subway early saturday evening, to the lovely couple kissing goodbye, to the baby trying to open its eye or to keep from falling asleep, the dog peeing on the side of the road, to the heat and the cold. I cherish these moments because they are inspiring and they are why life is so damn good!

Cue to the Nina Simone! Da dan, da dan!

I had such the moment about two Saturdays back. This is one of those moments that still gives me butterflies and it's just a silly moment that was just meant to be for me.

Have you ever been in a crowd of people but somehow your soul searches for the eyes you should connect with?

I am in awe with moments like these and I wish more of life's bliss would be centered around that, but then again it wouldn't be so special.

Let me take a moment, (no pun), to reflect. 

Ummm........:) Sigh!

So as I was saying, it can only be described as something left to the imagination, only it was  as real and in color. 

Imagine sitting in a crowded backyard eating tacos and drinking champagne. Now imagine the weather is perfect. Kinda like one of those great spring afternoons in July. Now imagine a setting so loud filled with people just conversing. Talking about their day, week, month or year. Now imagine me just barely tuning in, because there was too much to focus on or maybe not enough. It suddenly felt like my soul was connecting with another being and then the grand finale. Our eyes connected and atlas a smile. We both looked away and then back at each other, more smiles. He was beautiful in the nerdiest way possible, with a heartwarming, butterflies fluttering in your belly, smile. Before I had any moment to  think he muttered 'Hi' and waved!

I mouthed 'Hi' and waved back. All the while smiling and biting my lips trying to stay cool. It's so beautiful that no matter how old you get, moments like these still makes you weak in the knees. Just asked SWV!

He mouthed "How are you?"

I mouthed back "I'm feeling good'

We both smiled and went back to the conversations at hand.

It left such a feel good feeling about me, around me, within me! I now carry that moment with me EVERYWHERE. So if you should ever see me in a moment of total bliss on a crowded subway smiling, in a bar chilling, in a 100 degrees weather smelling roses. Thats the moment I am remembering and I feel alright!

As always,

Sleepless

The Samaritan Sensation! Paying it forward...........

People say NYC can be the meanest place on earth but I beg to differ.  In fact I think some of the nicest people in the world lives here.

Take for instance,

It was a Saturday, May the 25th to be exact, and I happened to find myself uptown.

Well it wasn't  all the way uptown, more like west 55th St. (but then again anything passed 14 St. is uptown to me) and I didn't happen to find myself, I was leaving the last session of my acting class and feeling good from a job well done and ready to face the world, when I stepped outside only to be had by  one of the worst downpour I had seen in a long, long time.

Spring as some may say!

Now a little back story about NYC weather.

It is very unpredictable!

I decided I couldn't wait it out and the train station was only a few blocks. I ran, in the rain, to the train station at 50th st only to find a red tape and a note saying no train will be running here today. UGH!!!!!

What the....?

Now the next train station was all the way on 42nd st, so you can imagine my dilemma.  At this point my shirt was soaking wet, so now not only was I about to put on a show for passersby, but I was a few raindrops away from the flu.

As I was pondering what to do I hear a voice from nowhere,
'Is the train not running today?'
I said no and I turned to see a petite caucasian female with an umbrella. She said ' Come on, let's walk to 42nd' as she extended her umbrella over my head and we proceeded to walk. Eight blocks later and as if she was an angel, she got me to the train stop, said goodbye and walked away. We didnt keep in touch, we didn't have to. I just knew I had to pay it forward...



Nothing good every happens after 2 am, think again!

Fast forward two months later.

Now a little back story about the trains in NYC and the service after 12am. They run every 20 mins. So if you miss the train you pretty much have to wait 20 mins, and 4 of those are usually with the drunks and bombs sleeping in the train station or is up being crazy!

So there I was timing the train. I knew that if I leave my job at 2:30 am it would afforded me enough time to walk to the train station, refill my metrocard and was still on time for the 2:37 (L) train.

Wrong!

As I got into the station the metro guys were refilling the machines and there wasn't a 24hr saleperson. The machines take about a min to reboot when I heard that annoying lady saying, 'The next L train is now arriving on the Brooklyn bound track, please stand away from the platform edge'
I could die and the lady infront of me was putting coins in the other machine. I could hear the doors of the train opening. If you live in NYC, you know the sound I am talking about and you know the amount of time it will stay open until it closes and the train would leave the station. My heart dropped! She was done and she rushed down the stairs and unto the train (or at least that's what I thought).  Out of nowhere I heard her yelling saying, ' I will hold the train for you hurry up, don't worry I am holding it.' Music to my ear. So I filled up my card rushed down the stairs and told her to keep holding because there was another lady behind me. We all made the train. What seems like hours was probably a mere, adrenaline rush filled second. I made it home before 3am.  Because I caught that train, I was right intime to connect to the G.

Whew!

I mean let's face it. Most of the people that live around here, are not from around here, and we bring with us to this wonderful city our self value, generosity and self worth.

As always,
Sleepless.