If It Wasn't For You I'd Be On My Own.

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'Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever'.-Keri Russell

I was thinking of days to come and then it dawned on me, why do we plan for the future when many of us never get to partake in it?

Do you ever feel like you needed a new version of what you are? Who you think you are?

Life is a fickle bitch. The worst thing about it, is that, we have no control over the things we wish the most.

I have been looking in the four corners, and I've come to realized that maybe, either, I am one of the lucky ones, or, I haven't been living quite as much. You know that thing, where when someone asked you 'how you are doing?' and you say 'good', until that one day when someone corrects you and tell you that the word you are looking for is well? Because as people, we can't be "doing good" we can only be "doing well". As silly as this may sound, I am exactly there today and yes, I am living.

Summer went by really fast, and up until today, I hadn't even realized that we had a summer. NYC seems like it was just one big spring, minus the earlier months of winter. So as a ritual, I took the month off 'no drinking', this year, in september and this month came at the right pace. I am having a time of reflection and it makes me realize how much I have grown in 2014.

January,
Started off as just another winter's tale. It was the month for resolutions and what nots. I am not a believer in resolutions, because they never stick, but this year I made a promise to myself to get it right. So first stop was to change the energy of things I was surrounded with. I was no longer going up, I was not coming down. I was in a state of constant sideways. I thought it was just the winter blues and so I cling to the things I thought would suffice this, suffice me. That was a crack pot of shit. It was like nothing was right and no matter how I tried my damnest,  I just couldn't shake that feeling.

February,
Rolled around and the sideways were extending. It was cold. I drowned myself into work and whiskey. Work and whiskey was what I remembered most about February, and the constant loneliness, and no one to share my whiskey with. People got shit going on, and, I only seemed to find them when they needed to unload on me. So yes, February was about work, whiskey, whines and the never failing insomnia. February left me empty like the wine bottles on my floor.

March,
You would think spring would help. but, spring never came, and when it finally did, I decided that turning 35 should be something to celebrate. Who was there to celebrate with? I realized I had no friends. I knew people and lots of them. Always too much of them. I am getting a headache just thinking about all the people I know. Snow was still on the ground and work and whiskey wasn't serving the purpose anymore, so with a turn of event that I didn't see coming, on the night of my "birthday" dinner, I kicked the last thread of humans out of my house and out of my life for good. And then something miraculously happened...

April,
....Spring!!!!!
Who would have known that it was THAT burden off of my shoulders I needed to kick start this wonderful purpose of self realization? And It was April that brought me back and forced me to look in that stupid mirror and see the person staring back at me for what I was. I told myself no more. No more bulshit. No more shit from people who cares only about themselves. No more going above and beyond, unless it had ME written all over it. I found a new voice and it spoke. Who would have thought it could say no and meant every letter?
 N. O. 
But it saved me and I knew for certain that it was time to choose that path and enjoy it.

May,
You wonderful son of a bitch, you. You saw me at my bud. I sprung forth and there you were waiting to accept me. With you came introspect and motivation and inspiration. I wrote something I never had the guts to write, and I finished it, and it was beautiful. I started to be at peace and then happiness took over and the noes got easier, and the yeses where more certain and I have now come into my own. In years gone by, I never really cared too much about May, let's face it, what did May really have to offer?
Exams, getting ready for exams and summer breaks and missing friends and just stupid childish merriments.
But this May was the mold. It was the moment I found a voice that I can be proud of and so I decided to tell June.

June,
You wonderful feeling of sunlight on my skin. I never felt sunlight like this before and the pleasantries were appealing. I began to meet more people and the blessings of June could make me spot a phony from a mile off, but that was not the main course. I was inspired to make a short film. Summer was fast approaching and Brooklyn has never seemed lovelier. And then the promises, and the careless whispers, and the backyard bbqs, and the rooftop gathering(that mostly felt like Autumn), and the late night bar gibberish and late night cab fares that spilled over in...

July,
...Such a busy month. Man was it? I did everything. I was even smack dab in the middle of the desert (Vegas) for a wedding and it was hot as hell, and far, and expensive and a waste of my time, but none the less another reunion of old college friends and the promises of keeping in touch, that will never be and the 'what are you up to now?' and ex that you are happy that you dodge that bullet away from, far far away from, and the big city gal versus the rest of the world that kept their lives going at an even pace, and the 'I can't wait to get back to the big city so I don't have to talk about THAT subject anymore'. And since we are on THAT topic, I don't know why I AM STILL SINGLE, maybe it's a New York City thing, or, maybe I am just suppose to be single at this time in my life. Catch you at the next reunion. I should have a plus one by then (smiles) *applauds*.
I was just so happy to return to normalcy, but not before I decided that this current job situation was not working out for me, so I quit one job on Sunday, had my usual day off on Monday and then started a new job on Tuesday.
Ha!
Did I know things were going to pen out like that?
Nope!
But that's 2014 for you. It has a way of letting me know that the small stuff is no longer sweat worthy, and before you know it's freaking....

August.
Yes the last of the dog days, or, so we were led to believe. I smiled a lot in August. I worked on my script and I perfected it. I saw the screening of the web series and it was a very great night.
It was superb!
One of the second best moments of this year so far. It was just as I imagine. A time with the people who truly cared and moments that were written in time, eons ago. Moments that are reserve for conversations on a porch with grandchildren. August had me making money and saving it and enjoying the last of the long days and late nights, and getting to know new people and loving the sweet taste of wine, and Brooklyn, and dinner parties, and cooking, and laughters, and televisions in the middle of living rooms that was not there before, and being fearless and living for today.

September
Sober September. Four and a half weeks long and I am loving it. I did some yoga the other day and my back is back to normal. September you are my tranquility. You love the smoothest, and the most forgiving. You are my soul mate and my best friend. You keep showing me that all is possible and that the best is only before me. You make me remember why I am me and that I should never forget it. Especially when the conversations start to sound like monkey's poop and cat's vagina. That I should  stick it out and write scripts, that will change the world one day. You give me inspiration on the subway, on my walks to work, talking with customers and you make me laugh everyday.
You make me laugh everyday! 
You are chasing away demons that had haunted me all of 2013 and you make me know, that even when I think I am alone, that I have the inner peace and strength to comfort me. I smell everything and see it all now. I hear the sounds of the distance trains as I walk above ground. I see the shops that were there for years but I was too busy focused on nothing. I take it day by day and will do nothing to change that.
I love!
I love now,
                  openly,
                              forgivingly,
                                                 willingly,
                                                                 romantically,
                                                                                       selflessly,
                                                                                                       selfishly
                                                                                                                     and worry free.
I LOVE!

And with only eight more days to go until I have my first sip of whatever it is that I will sip on first. I will look forward to October and will let the good times roll.


As Fall is about to have its way with me,
Sleepless.

Don't Take It Personal (The Monkey's Poop and Cat's Vagina Syndrome)

I think I just figured out why some people are just so boring most of the time. I have a theory and hear me out for a minute.

It's the Monkey Poop Cat's vagina Syndrome.

Imagine you're meeting somebody for the first time and they decided to talk about a Monkey's poop? At first you would be like, "ok if you want to talk about Monkey's poop then I'm all in". It's all apart of getting to know someone and if it's Monkey's poop, then, so be it.

So the next time you hang out they bring up the topic of a Monkey's poop again, and you obliged,  because maybe the monkey pooped in their mouth and leave a bad taste. So you listen, because, clearly Monkey's poop is important to them.

Now the third time you hang out, Monkey's poop somehow rears its ugly head, and all you can think about is why can't you tell me something about a Cat's vagina?

Maybe it's just me, but I would think that no one wants to hear about Monkey's poop and a Cat's vagina for more than two conversation tops!

This now becomes a boring topic, what if you wanted to talk about a Cat's vagina and because the person is so fixated on Monkey's poop, you can't get a word in about a Cat's vagina.

This is crazy and if you get what I am saying you will know.

I mean if you are telling me about something that I don't give a Rat's ass about it's like talking about Monkey's poop with me, as I would think my boring story would seem like talking about a Cat's vagina. I mean let it go and for the sake of getting to know someone, talk about ice creams and blueberries. Mix it up a little. I'm not saying you can't talk about Monkey's poop and I can't talk about Cats' vaginas, All I am saying is, if your story has become boring it's probably monkey's poop to me.

Just a little spring humor!

As always,
Sleepless

Irie Christmas In The Sun (Jamaican Christmas)

Christmas is my favourite time of year. I can't imagine being more happy. I think It has everything to do with the Christmases I have had growing up.  It so strange how children live what they learn and learn what they live, because, Christmas time I believe help to shape the human mind. I have a theory and hear me out, I am no expert and I have no Phd in this sort of thing but, I believe that you can tell the type of person a human will be if you examine their first few christmases. No I am not saying that this generalization is etched in stone, I am mainly stating that, in more cases than few, you will see the similarities. If you don't believe me just ask this question the next time you are getting to know someone. The answer will tell you the type of person you are dealing with.

Now let me take you on a trip down memory lane.

My earliest memories can be traced back to when I was two years old. I know this because I could remember hanging out with my grandmother a lot and this was before I started Basic school (kindergarten for you Americans reading this).  I however do not remember my first Christmas or am I going to try, but what happens next is my recollection of my first twelve Christmases.

I remembered the days leading up to Christmas like it was yesterday. This all started about two weeks into December. I remembered walking home from school with my sisters, cousins and friends. We would pick the 'crismuss grass' (Para or Guinea grass) as we would call it, and put it in the sleeves of our tunics to see how far this dead grass would crawl on its own.  We would be astonished to know that it could do that when we would find it in our bosoms. This 'crismuss grass' only seems to miraculously appear during Christmas time. This was also right around the time JBC would start to air 'Greetings from the UK'. Who remember dis? This is a program where your relatives that were in England would send Christmas greetings to families back home.

We couldn't wait for the last friday, when the last bell rang so we can buy balloons and whatever little toys we could buy with the money that we saved from our lunch money and we would walk home and talk about what we would be doing for Christmas. Now if you had a big yard like we did in the country, you would know that it was time to cut the grasses, which my mother or grandmother would hire a guy that lived in my neighborhood to do. They cut the grass (lawn) and we the kids (pickney dem) would have to rake them up in heaps for burning. Now this means that Christmas was just around the corner. Next every single house in the neighborhood would be getting a paint job, because it wouldn't be Christmas if you house nuh look criss. Meaning it wouldn't be Christmas, if your house wasn't nicely painted, with new curtains, pepper lights (Christmas lights) Christmas carols on the radio (and in my house most of the Christmas carols were bible based) and the house was spotless. Everything was in top shape for all the relatives that would be home for Christmas. Christmas in Jamaica is a big Family holiday so your house was going to be filled with lots of families, nyammings (eatings) and merriment. Christmas time in Jamaica everybody comes home. 

Now if you are not familiar with sorrel I suggest you take a moment to google it and go out and buy some before you continue reading….

Just joking!

But yes sorrel was one of my greatest nightmare during Christmas time (well the picking of the sorrel I should say). They would have to be picked, dried a little and then boiled before Christmas eve so that it can be ready for Christmas day. Sorrel is one of the best things about Christmas, because when paired with Wray and Nephew white rum and some Red Label Wine. (Red Label Wine, turn on di trills). Oh I can remember hiding and taking some without anyone noticing.  It was the only time you could get a little taste of alcohol without having the skin torn off your back, so of course it was something to look forward to. You can have it without alcohol but what would be the fun in that.

But anyways back to the sorrel picking. It can be described as a red flower like plant that has a lot of pricks or needle like tentacles on the leave itself. Which usually get in your fingers and skin while you take the leaves off. The needle like tentacles we call 'Macka' in Patois. I can tell you so many stories about me trying to pass my pile on to others, but I won't because they always end with me getting a good beating.  My mother always makes the best egg nags for Christmas morning and her secret ingredient was condense milk and Dragon Stout. Delicious so til.

Sorrel Ingredient:

1 pound sorrel

2-4 oz. ginger
2 quarts water
sugar
wine (optional)
8-12 pimento grains

METHOD:
Wash sorrel thoroughly, using the fingers to lift it from the water. Put into stainless steel container.
Scrape and wash ginger. Grate and Add to the sorrel. Add pimento grains. Boil water and pour over sorrel. Allow to stand 4-6 hours. Strain. Sweeten to taste and add rum to taste. Add optional wine. Serve with ice cubes.

Aye bwoy!

Now I don't care who you were or where you lived in Jamiaca, every town or as we would say 'ebbry cribiss and corner' had a Grandmarket. Now Grandmarket was the shit. This is the one time of the year we were allowed to go out and stay out late and shop. The streets were lined with venders and stalks selling everything Christmas. It was our way of enjoying the day before the family day and also to get our Christmas shopping in. There would be festivities for both adults and children.  Now see I was raised in a household where being rude as a kid was never conceived of. We couldn't be out of our beds much less out of the house after 8pm, unless you were with a consenting adult, and when I say consenting I mean your Mother. Plus we were afraid of Duppy (Ghost). But not Christmas Eve. All Duppy aside. It was the time to get to the nearest town and buy toys, dollies, candies, toto, drops, and gizzardas. It was just a day of Jonkanoo, fun and merriment and everybody have on brand new clothes and shoes, because God forbid you leave your house in an outfit that wasn't new. It was like everyone could tell. Maybe it was a silent rule, but that was just how that was. I mean this was the night to finally spend all the money that you were saving, plus all the money that you got from relatives abroad who couldn't make it for this Christmas. 'Farin' money was the best. The streets were packed with vendors selling all kind of Christmas festivities and jerk chicken, pork, roast and boiled corns, roast yam, salt fish, roast breadfruit and things that were left over from the day, because nobody wanted to go home with anything they came to sell. 

(Grand Market dates back to slavery. On this day the slaves would get all dressed up and meet at convenient locations where they could socialize. Others slaves would sell all kinds of homemade items, like strawhats and baskets made from bamboo and brooms made from tash.

They entertained themselves by singing and playing drums which were made from the the skin of animals like goats and cattle, despite what they were going through they still manage to have some fun. As Grand Market evolved from earlier years, the fun remains the same with the kids looking forward to this day as the most important of the Christmas holiday.)

As I can recall all of the major food for Christmas day was prepared on Christmas eve, and as a child I remembered not wanting to go to sleep because I was afraid I would miss something.  The fruit cakes ( this is a traditional cake that is prepared in every household in Jamaica for Christmas. It's made with fresh fruits that are usually soaked in the Jamaican white run for months. You can get a little light headed from the cake. It is that good) Sorrel, ham, roast pork and beef. The only thing that was saved for Christmas day was the chicken and the rice and peas. Oh every single meal known to man was available for Christmas dinner. That is just how we roll in Jamaica. We are not afraid to eat.

                                                           Jamaican Fruit Cake

Now Christmas morning was the best. As we say in Patois 'wi gladbag buss' (being extremely happy). We would be up by 6 am for prayer meetings with every single person in the house.  Have to start the day off right, remembering why we are celebrating Christmas to begin with. Whether you want to or not. Prayer meetings usually last from 30mins to an hour, then presents time. I mean we always know what we were getting because we didn't believe in Santa. Well maybe now-a-days pickney, because everything is becoming so foreign with the easy access to everything. Then we would move on to the Christmas day breakfast. This is usually ackee and salt fish, breadfruit ( usually roast and then fried), fried plantains, boiled bananas, coffee and tea. Then we would all shower after breakfast and get dress in our 'decent' yard clothes because no doubt as soon as about 10 am that's when all the relatives will be arriving for a full day of eating and hanging out and children playing and just pure fun.  Christmas dinners were usually served in late afternoon. This is when we bring out the big guns of food and eat and share stories and hang out and laugh and just have a good time. Then the dessert is always the fruit cake with some red label wine. Yummy!!!! This would go on all day.
                         

                                                              A Typical Jamaican Breakfast

                                                        Ackee and saltfish with calaloo

December 26 would roll around and we would eat leftovers from Christmas day. This is Boxing day and this is usually a beach holiday to hang out with immediate families or friends that you didn't get to see on Christmas day. People would go to the beach and have small picnics and listen to music and chill. If you were old enough you might go to Sting. This is an annual international concert that takes place in Portmore, St Catherine. It usually features all the hottest reggae artist and some of the hottest international stars. This is a big deal in the entertainment industry and it can make or break some of the dominant artists. Sounds clashes are pretty popular here. This is when two rival artists takes the stage to battle it out.

The last Sunday in December is usually known as Christmas Sunday. And let me tell you if you haven't been to church all year, you are sure enough to put on your sunday best and head to church.

So there you have it. I am sure I am leaving out a few things. But one thing I know is that Christmas was always filled with love, gratitude and belly full.

Happy New Year!!!
Sleepless

34 random things for 34 Random years….

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I,  clearly,  don't have much to do this evening so I am entertaining myself until I can get to watch The Voice. I love days like these where the only thing I get to do is nothing. I rarely have days like these so when I do I relish in them.

We think too much constantly and do too much regardlessly. We never take the time out to be thankful and appreciate the smaller things in life. Like the mare fact that there is someone out there, whom to them, we are the world. We never stop to say thank you.

Thank you!

My Mother inspires me everyday and it took me this long to realized that. She gives me strength and keeps me going.

I am thankful for the amazing family I have. My sisters are my everything.  Karene, Sophia, Nadine and Keisha. I think about them all the time and they always know how to cheer me up and make me feel better. I still miss my sunday dinners with Keisha or just my talks about nothing with Karen which we do now via Whatsapp. Not so much the same though, but we all know these days would come when we have to venture out into our own lives, right?

I have been blessed with a lot of acquaintances, but not many best friends that knows me inside out. Knows how much of a pain in the ass I can be and knows that I love them regardlessly. They don't have to worry about hurting my feelings because they know me oh too well. They know that it is not the hurting of my feelings I worry about, but it is the lack of feelings from humanity that drives me insane.

I have been blessed with one:

                                                            Cameca.

Mooksie ,we have known each other for over 22 years. Damn that is a long time to know someone. No wonder you annoys the shit out of me with how much you know me. It also doesn't hurt that we share the same birthday. May your days be long and may you find the right person who is lucky enough to have the chance to be loved by you.
                                                     
Thank You!


1) I LOVE GOD and my family more than I should

2) I have only been in love once. I was 23. (That's more then eleven years ago)

3) I believe in individuality...to each his own.

4) I will always choose Fiji. It is my secret place on earth.

5) I hate concerts or most live event for that matter. The constant noise makes me want to kill cats!

6) I already know how my wedding dress is gonna look!

7) I love sex in the middle of the afternoon!

8) I have a tendency to move on from people real easily. If I truly think you are worth it I will fight for you.

9) I like to be up when the world is asleep. Gives me peace.

10) I secretly love babies and can not wait to see how mine is gonna turn out.

11) I LOVE SUNDAY AFTERNOONS.

12) I love my own company, I can easily be alone and not be lonely.

13) I get annoyed easily with stupidity and repetitions, so if I happen to just suddenly disappear, well then you know why.

14) If I want to tell you something you will know, too many questions drive me crazy.

15) I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

16) I don't know how to communicate in love. I am more of a shower than a talker.

17) I don't know how to defend myself. I am working on it.

18) I wont hold a grudge.

19) I think if NYC is one of the best places on this earth, then Brooklyn is the icing on that cake!

20 I am the BIGGEST procrastinator.

21) I watch everything online, everything.

22) I hate labels, bigotry and discriminations

23) I truly believe no man is an Island.

24) I want to live well into my 90s if not 100.

25) My aspiration is to retired to a small island, to own a bar and to have a big loving family

26) I never went through a phase of "hating" my mother.

27) I went to an all girls boarding school for high school.

28) I smoked weed every day for the last 2 1/2 years in college. Knowing me today you wouldn't have guessed that. I did it because I was bored in school constantly and I did still manage to graduate 3 1/2years.

29) I had my first real job when I was 24. I was a beauty advisor for Origins at a Macy's counter In Aventura Mall, North Miami.

30) I want to travel the world and write. I will publish a book or three.

31) I would like to live in Australia for at least a year.

32) I would love to get to as close as I can to the South Pole.

33) I want to get married. Once, forever.

34) I do not believe that ignorance is bliss. I believe ignorance is bulshit and a cop out.

This is December 2013, Oh WOW!

Sleepless

And I Am Standing In A Graveyard Made By People I Thought I Loved. It's Been Three (3) Years!!!!!

"And with this silence brings a moral story more importantly evolving, is the glory of a boy!"-Jason Mraz.

I want a do over, if that's possible, I want a do over.

….five years ago!

I want a do over.

They say not everything that glitters is gold.

…mmmmm.

Do you know what living in hell is like?

                                                                                                             photo courtesy of Ruby Jusoh

It's like living in hell. Trying so desperately to be normal. To be normal to everyone and for everyone until normal doesn't feel normal anymore  and you have lost all of the will to fight for yourself, slowly becoming something you are not. Feeling less and less. Getting colder and colder. Evolving into something you do not want to be.

Ever had that feeling of falling into loneliness?

Trying to wonder why you are so lonely?  Living in a world where you feel nothing. Where silence is bliss! Where emotions lie to protect the real emotions, where all the faces look the same and the words are all pointless gibberish coming from all the same mouths. Where in this world, they have created, no one is safe.

...Anuh everything gud fi eat gud fi tawk... 


I want a do over!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Five years ago.

I want to be where the People once lived.

Real People.

I want to be amongst the humans that know when you are hurting, from pain so deep. And all they can offer is a hug then the world is instantly healing.

I want to be where the people are!

What happens to a dream deferred?
I had a dream. I dreamt I was away,  far far away. In streets so strange and towns so vague.
I'm wishing I could stay so far far away. Protecting your soul means nothing if the other person is not into it.

You all gave me a memory. I accepted it. I enjoyed it. I lived in the moment of if. I accepted it.

What ever happen to your 'friends'?


One thing I have learnt over the last five years, and it's if you want love you have to give it to yourself, because no one in this hell on earth knows how to.

I want a do over, maybe soon, maybe today.

I WANT A DO OVER!

As the winter sky sets in,
Sleepless.

The House Always Wins…

'Winter always turns to spring. The joy of spring is made real by the winter that proceeds it and only by overcoming the trails of winter, with the power of faith, can we come to savor a springtime of victory.'~Unknown

This past Saturday (October 5th, 2013), all across the nation people join forces, to walk across bridges and avenues, to state a claim in their fight for humanity and freedom, in the fight for an Immigration Reform. There were 183 major actions, in 40 states, calling for a Compassionate Immigration Reform (CIR).



I am sadden, that in 2013, it has to come to this and I, frankly, don't even know where this country get the nerve to be so disrespectful to fellow human beings. Is it that they think Immigrants are not apart of the human race and if so, were their ancestors equally parallel to this rite of passage? When did we stop being humans and caring for one another? When did this change?

I have to tell you, this country is always fighting for something, whether it be to enslaved or not to enslaved. Whether it be the cross contamination of mixing the races deemed illegal. Whether it be the gays and the legal rights to  marriage. Whether it be civil rights. Whatever it is, something is always "illegal" in this country and for what?

Does this country even have an identity if it is not declaring something at some point illegal?

When will this end? How is it going to end?

I have to take solace in the ones who are making a difference. The Marchers, The Activists, The Cheerleaders, The Supporters and The Champions, whom have decided that enough is enough and will remain true to the purpose at hand. But, there  are still millions of people who are indifferent and they choose to shut their mouths as they watch this nation bury itself, hiding behind the walls of the political parties. I am all for differences in opinions but if we don't speak, how will we know what issues to argue on? Come on "If you see something, say something"

http://www.fwd.us

https://www.facebook.com/fwdus  (check them out and sign up)


This leads me to my next question.

What happen to the Government? Let me tell you, is it not a coincident that this shutdown happen to happen on the resurrection of the Immigration Reform. But, is it just the tea partiers that decided that this should not be so or is it a join effort from all spectrum of the political playing field that delegate such catastrophe, in unison? I have to say I am a little wary to the "things" being done and noone is making sense of it all. If congress really needed a vacation they could just sign off on all the laws at hand and they would earn ample amounts of time for rest and relaxation. They would not be denied that.

I got to say for a country that was founded upon immigration, we are doing nothing of the sorts to make this right with the "Natives" that once lived here. And for future references, I am not the biggest fan of that word. I find that word belittling and inhumane. Because I find that that word is only used to describe people from third world countries or of a "minority" race. You never heard the term "Natives" of Europe or North America except if only refering to the "Native Americans".

Shaking My Damn Head!

But I will not stray from the topic at hand, even as I struggle to formulate my words into unbiased gibberish, while still maintaining the core of the reason I choose to write this.

I have not lived in many countries, but I am sure they do not place this much energy on Immigration, which is ironic so I reiterate, THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED UPON IMMIGRATION. It may be hundreds of years ago but it still was.

I believe that the backlash of Immigrants, is for the sole reason, that the "citizens" of this country have all these resources, but are too ignorant and prejudice, to let others come in and help. I have to tell you, mi thinks that if Immigration were only narrowed down to Europeans crossing the border, then there would not be an issue with Immigration to begin. We see how it is much easier for a country that is not considered of a minority race (Natives), can come here and get a Greencard as quickly as it takes them to land, but God forbid if you try to just walk over to borrow some sugar from your neighbor. You are considered criminals who have nothing better to do but to rob, rape and kill. I got to say I can't remember the last time I heard about a Mexican uprising in this country or a Mexican terrorist. But you can be sure about bombings and what nots from people with "legitimate visas" and "asylums."

Is the pot of coffee on? Because I don't think we are smelling it.

I can sit here and tell you why a Comprehensive Immigration Reform is great for this country but honestly that would be a waste of my time and yours because, frankly, you already know. We all are living testament as to why Immigration works for America. We all live it everyday. We are on the forefront of this great invention looking on!

I want to talk to you on your level, fighting fire with fire, so to speak. Maybe then you will understand and get involve with the more obvious side of a law that was once so simple, yet have gotten so complicated.

Every laws in this country is about some bulshit rules to protect things that we are no longer sure about anymore. We are only hearing the opinions of one set group. The rest of America won't speak up to even make it better. The ones who can do something about it won't. Everybody is just self absorbed into their own petty issues to see the bigger picture.

While, in the end, the house is winning!

But I got to say though, that while this country is busy being petty, the other bigger countries are busy thriving.

Sometimes when life hands you  a curve ball, question it.  And when you have exhausted the alternative, you WILL hit a  home run.

Imagine this and indulge me for a second. It's Tuesday, November 8th, 2016. 6:30am until 9pm. The polls are all opened but there are no lines, nobody waiting in them to vote. Nobody showing up, nobody caring. We have more pressing issues to tend to in our homes, schools, offices or whatever. Too busy to even think about voting. This happens everyday in the political sphere. Politicians are too busy doing everything else other than the things that they swore they were gonna do, should they be elected. What's gonna happen when the tables turn? I hope I live to see the day.

As always,
Sleepless.

P.s. I will now leave you with a little something from Rabbi Israel Salanter.

"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realized the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."

Meet: Aaron Smyth ( Vann Music)

So,

I was chatting with a friend of mine who lives in Ireland.  He was telling me about the music scene there.  I asked him what was good and he told me about a band that was formed last year, (2012). He told me they are really good and I should check them out.  This piqued my interest and of course, clearly, I gave them a listen.

https://soundcloud.com/vannmusic

Now, a little background on me and music. I am usually not that person who likes to go to concerts and blah blah blahs. I would rather work an event to make the time passed by quickly. I bartend (please get your heads out of the gutter), so not many people know the type a genre of music I am into. Getting me to listen to a band or singer is like setting me up on a blind date.  Well, the point I am trying to make is that I don't know what kinda guys I am into. I just have to be present to see if we connect. Same goes for music.

But this time my friend was right and he'd hit a home run with this blind date, so to speak. I like this band, so much so, that I got everyone to listen to them. Well everyone I know.

THEY ROCK!!!!!

Their single Life In Real Time is a hit.

It's so smooth and catchy, that, it brought me back to a time where I actually enjoyed music for the melody, lyrics and the simplicity of just jamming. It made me happy.  So, for the next two weeks I couldn't stop talking about this band to anyone who had an ear or two.

I played it at the bar, people's house-(parties), in the car, in the back of a taxi (well once to my gay friend to which he replied, saying, yea they are cute and all but, are there any black boys in Ireland. He is white btw ha ha).  What can I say? When I get excited, I get excited.

The name of the band is Vann Music.

And, I happened to have the pleasure of chatting it up with their front man for a minute. Watch out for this band, they are about to cross over soon (America that is), and they are gonna be HUGE!!!!!!

AND, they are not bad on the eyes for the young ones who are not afraid to dance, and scream, and jive to great music.

But enough from me,

Let's have a chat with Aaron.....

Name: Aaron Smith

Age: Guess!

Status: Involved

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Job: Singer

Hail From: Dublin, Ireland

Where Ya Bed At: At the back of the house

Why Dublin: It's where I arrived kicking and screaming

Best Place To Eat In Dublin: Ooooh that's a tough one, depends on my mood, Little Steps Of Rome (Italian) or Konkan (Indian)

When's Bedtime: When my eyes can no longer stay open

What's the one thing you have to have with you at all times: My Wits

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were: 16

Tell me about music and the love affair you have with it: I would be completely lost without it

If life is so short, how would you rather spend your days: To be at the beach at sunrise, eggs & coffee for breakfast & making music for the rest of the day.

Next 3 Years: VANN MUSIC

What Is Your Greatest Fear: Losing the people I love

If you could tell the world one thing: Turn off the light on your way out

Favorite thing you have ever done with a friend: The first time we went to a music festival

Where are you gonna be when you die: Las Vegas with everything I have riding on blackjack!

If you could only have dinner with 3 people for the rest of your life, who: The worlds top 3 Michelin starred chefs, I'd be well fed!

Worst thing about Dublin: The Rain

Best thing about Dublin: Going for drinks with friends at Christmas time

What city in America you would really like to play: New York


Well there you have it my Sleeplessers (because this is what I am calling you now). Aaron and the rest of Vann Music are about to invade your space and atmosphere, in a great way. I will catch them for a show in the Big Apple one of these days. It was my pleasure and I am sure you guys cannot stop hitting the links....he he he. Enjoy!

As for me, it is Fashion Week, so I am gonna go see about an after party. I will let you guys know what trouble I get into. Tune into the next blog for details......

As fashioners do,
Sleepless

Vermont, BCF Style..........

So I went on a great trip up to Vermont this past weekend and it was a warm and jolly good time. This trip reminded me of better times and how quickly us younger folks take things for granted with all our whining and bulshitting around.

Camp!

How enjoyable life can be if we just let it. How great families can be if we don't rush to leave every time we go home.

After a seven hour drive and four states later, we arrived in Duxbury, Vermont at about 10:30pm. It was pitch black and we were guided by the moonlight and electric lights beaming from the houses. I knew I was gonna have a good time because there were no street lights to be found and honestly they were not needed. We got to the house at the bottom of the mountain and I was immediately greeted by Kate's mom and a big old bear hug. I then met Kate's cousin and she refused to shake my hand, because "in this family we hug". I felt right at home. We drove up the mountain to the cabin, which we all now coined as "Camp". The night air was fresh and I could only imagine what I was gonna wake up to the next morning. We got to the cabin and I was greeted with more smiles and hugs and beers and laughs and seeing as though we were all tired we all went to bed soon after.

Our weekend began...

Everything about summer in the mountains reminded me of the country area I grew up in in Jamaica, and for the first time in a long time I felt a sense of peace. Not just that peace that you hear people go on and on about when they are trying to convince someone that they are doing ok. I meant a genuine, just warm fuzzy feeling, that only true love can experience.

I woke up the next day to the sounds of laugher, and the smell of coffee and bacon and french toast. It felt like christmas morning and I couldn't wait to get out of bed, because we all knew if you are the last one out, then you get to open your present last. *Cough* Shelly. Lol.  The fresh mountain air was incredible and Moxie (Kate's dog) couldn't stop frolicking about and you know what?, I was right there with her.

We had a lovely Saturday. We sat around and told jokes and have some lovely cocktails, and our little six became seven at some point during the day. We drank some more and more joke telling. We went for a two hour hike along the creek and we picked berries and chatted and strolled and took in the sweet mountain air, and I got to know some of the most beautiful people that god have ever made. Reminded of my family and the only thing that could make this moment a little more special was to have them join me on the fun!

It's funny how you have friends for years and you wonder what it will be like when you finally meet the people responsible for raising them, and I have to tell you a lot of friendships have been broken up because of this. Your friends can be wonderful, but they can have some atrocious parents and family base. But not Kate. Her family is just the way you would imagine from hanging out with her, and a little bit more, with a lot of love oozing from their veins with a little blackberry and granola cobbler on top.

That was orgasmic btw....Great job Donna!!! And I'm gonna take this time to give a shout out to Auntie Kathy for the Salmon P. Wiggle. I had three servings.

We ended the night by playing a nice game of Phase 10. I mean I think I won, but the score sheet says otherwise, so I demand a rematch the next BCF weekend. I still don't know what BCF means ha ha. I think I was somewhere else when you guys came up with the name. Ummm!

Sunday came around and we all packed up our little belongings and boarded the pick up express and headed down the mountain and away from The Best Weekend in history. I challenge anyone who think they can top this weekend. But not before we took a tour, or somewhat of a tour, of the first Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory. Oh Vermont, just when I thought I was leaving you found a way to rope me back.

There are a bunch of things I got from this weekend: Thanks Shelly
A moose shed is not a small building.
You can't buy sparkling water at a water bar.
A scat is....well you guys may have to tune in to find that one out. But let's just say it could belong to a bear, a fox, a coyote or a deer.
Oh and Love, Johnny boy was right, All You Need Is Love!

One thing I know for sure is that when I have my own family I hope I have half the patience and love for them as I saw this weekend.

So I take my umbrella, kick off my flip flops and grab a cold one to a great bunch of folks I have had the pleasure of spending a weekend with. Here's to next year ladies. May we have more wines, wine coolers, beers, Salmon P. Wiggles and a jolly old good time.

Muah!

Sleepless