34 random things for 34 Random years….

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I,  clearly,  don't have much to do this evening so I am entertaining myself until I can get to watch The Voice. I love days like these where the only thing I get to do is nothing. I rarely have days like these so when I do I relish in them.

We think too much constantly and do too much regardlessly. We never take the time out to be thankful and appreciate the smaller things in life. Like the mare fact that there is someone out there, whom to them, we are the world. We never stop to say thank you.

Thank you!

My Mother inspires me everyday and it took me this long to realized that. She gives me strength and keeps me going.

I am thankful for the amazing family I have. My sisters are my everything.  Karene, Sophia, Nadine and Keisha. I think about them all the time and they always know how to cheer me up and make me feel better. I still miss my sunday dinners with Keisha or just my talks about nothing with Karen which we do now via Whatsapp. Not so much the same though, but we all know these days would come when we have to venture out into our own lives, right?

I have been blessed with a lot of acquaintances, but not many best friends that knows me inside out. Knows how much of a pain in the ass I can be and knows that I love them regardlessly. They don't have to worry about hurting my feelings because they know me oh too well. They know that it is not the hurting of my feelings I worry about, but it is the lack of feelings from humanity that drives me insane.

I have been blessed with one:

                                                            Cameca.

Mooksie ,we have known each other for over 22 years. Damn that is a long time to know someone. No wonder you annoys the shit out of me with how much you know me. It also doesn't hurt that we share the same birthday. May your days be long and may you find the right person who is lucky enough to have the chance to be loved by you.
                                                     
Thank You!


1) I LOVE GOD and my family more than I should

2) I have only been in love once. I was 23. (That's more then eleven years ago)

3) I believe in individuality...to each his own.

4) I will always choose Fiji. It is my secret place on earth.

5) I hate concerts or most live event for that matter. The constant noise makes me want to kill cats!

6) I already know how my wedding dress is gonna look!

7) I love sex in the middle of the afternoon!

8) I have a tendency to move on from people real easily. If I truly think you are worth it I will fight for you.

9) I like to be up when the world is asleep. Gives me peace.

10) I secretly love babies and can not wait to see how mine is gonna turn out.

11) I LOVE SUNDAY AFTERNOONS.

12) I love my own company, I can easily be alone and not be lonely.

13) I get annoyed easily with stupidity and repetitions, so if I happen to just suddenly disappear, well then you know why.

14) If I want to tell you something you will know, too many questions drive me crazy.

15) I LOVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

16) I don't know how to communicate in love. I am more of a shower than a talker.

17) I don't know how to defend myself. I am working on it.

18) I wont hold a grudge.

19) I think if NYC is one of the best places on this earth, then Brooklyn is the icing on that cake!

20 I am the BIGGEST procrastinator.

21) I watch everything online, everything.

22) I hate labels, bigotry and discriminations

23) I truly believe no man is an Island.

24) I want to live well into my 90s if not 100.

25) My aspiration is to retired to a small island, to own a bar and to have a big loving family

26) I never went through a phase of "hating" my mother.

27) I went to an all girls boarding school for high school.

28) I smoked weed every day for the last 2 1/2 years in college. Knowing me today you wouldn't have guessed that. I did it because I was bored in school constantly and I did still manage to graduate 3 1/2years.

29) I had my first real job when I was 24. I was a beauty advisor for Origins at a Macy's counter In Aventura Mall, North Miami.

30) I want to travel the world and write. I will publish a book or three.

31) I would like to live in Australia for at least a year.

32) I would love to get to as close as I can to the South Pole.

33) I want to get married. Once, forever.

34) I do not believe that ignorance is bliss. I believe ignorance is bulshit and a cop out.

This is December 2013, Oh WOW!

Sleepless

And I Am Standing In A Graveyard Made By People I Thought I Loved. It's Been Three (3) Years!!!!!

"And with this silence brings a moral story more importantly evolving, is the glory of a boy!"-Jason Mraz.

I want a do over, if that's possible, I want a do over.

….five years ago!

I want a do over.

They say not everything that glitters is gold.

…mmmmm.

Do you know what living in hell is like?

                                                                                                             photo courtesy of Ruby Jusoh

It's like living in hell. Trying so desperately to be normal. To be normal to everyone and for everyone until normal doesn't feel normal anymore  and you have lost all of the will to fight for yourself, slowly becoming something you are not. Feeling less and less. Getting colder and colder. Evolving into something you do not want to be.

Ever had that feeling of falling into loneliness?

Trying to wonder why you are so lonely?  Living in a world where you feel nothing. Where silence is bliss! Where emotions lie to protect the real emotions, where all the faces look the same and the words are all pointless gibberish coming from all the same mouths. Where in this world, they have created, no one is safe.

...Anuh everything gud fi eat gud fi tawk... 


I want a do over!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Five years ago.

I want to be where the People once lived.

Real People.

I want to be amongst the humans that know when you are hurting, from pain so deep. And all they can offer is a hug then the world is instantly healing.

I want to be where the people are!

What happens to a dream deferred?
I had a dream. I dreamt I was away,  far far away. In streets so strange and towns so vague.
I'm wishing I could stay so far far away. Protecting your soul means nothing if the other person is not into it.

You all gave me a memory. I accepted it. I enjoyed it. I lived in the moment of if. I accepted it.

What ever happen to your 'friends'?


One thing I have learnt over the last five years, and it's if you want love you have to give it to yourself, because no one in this hell on earth knows how to.

I want a do over, maybe soon, maybe today.

I WANT A DO OVER!

As the winter sky sets in,
Sleepless.

The House Always Wins…

'Winter always turns to spring. The joy of spring is made real by the winter that proceeds it and only by overcoming the trails of winter, with the power of faith, can we come to savor a springtime of victory.'~Unknown

This past Saturday (October 5th, 2013), all across the nation people join forces, to walk across bridges and avenues, to state a claim in their fight for humanity and freedom, in the fight for an Immigration Reform. There were 183 major actions, in 40 states, calling for a Compassionate Immigration Reform (CIR).



I am sadden, that in 2013, it has to come to this and I, frankly, don't even know where this country get the nerve to be so disrespectful to fellow human beings. Is it that they think Immigrants are not apart of the human race and if so, were their ancestors equally parallel to this rite of passage? When did we stop being humans and caring for one another? When did this change?

I have to tell you, this country is always fighting for something, whether it be to enslaved or not to enslaved. Whether it be the cross contamination of mixing the races deemed illegal. Whether it be the gays and the legal rights to  marriage. Whether it be civil rights. Whatever it is, something is always "illegal" in this country and for what?

Does this country even have an identity if it is not declaring something at some point illegal?

When will this end? How is it going to end?

I have to take solace in the ones who are making a difference. The Marchers, The Activists, The Cheerleaders, The Supporters and The Champions, whom have decided that enough is enough and will remain true to the purpose at hand. But, there  are still millions of people who are indifferent and they choose to shut their mouths as they watch this nation bury itself, hiding behind the walls of the political parties. I am all for differences in opinions but if we don't speak, how will we know what issues to argue on? Come on "If you see something, say something"

http://www.fwd.us

https://www.facebook.com/fwdus  (check them out and sign up)


This leads me to my next question.

What happen to the Government? Let me tell you, is it not a coincident that this shutdown happen to happen on the resurrection of the Immigration Reform. But, is it just the tea partiers that decided that this should not be so or is it a join effort from all spectrum of the political playing field that delegate such catastrophe, in unison? I have to say I am a little wary to the "things" being done and noone is making sense of it all. If congress really needed a vacation they could just sign off on all the laws at hand and they would earn ample amounts of time for rest and relaxation. They would not be denied that.

I got to say for a country that was founded upon immigration, we are doing nothing of the sorts to make this right with the "Natives" that once lived here. And for future references, I am not the biggest fan of that word. I find that word belittling and inhumane. Because I find that that word is only used to describe people from third world countries or of a "minority" race. You never heard the term "Natives" of Europe or North America except if only refering to the "Native Americans".

Shaking My Damn Head!

But I will not stray from the topic at hand, even as I struggle to formulate my words into unbiased gibberish, while still maintaining the core of the reason I choose to write this.

I have not lived in many countries, but I am sure they do not place this much energy on Immigration, which is ironic so I reiterate, THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED UPON IMMIGRATION. It may be hundreds of years ago but it still was.

I believe that the backlash of Immigrants, is for the sole reason, that the "citizens" of this country have all these resources, but are too ignorant and prejudice, to let others come in and help. I have to tell you, mi thinks that if Immigration were only narrowed down to Europeans crossing the border, then there would not be an issue with Immigration to begin. We see how it is much easier for a country that is not considered of a minority race (Natives), can come here and get a Greencard as quickly as it takes them to land, but God forbid if you try to just walk over to borrow some sugar from your neighbor. You are considered criminals who have nothing better to do but to rob, rape and kill. I got to say I can't remember the last time I heard about a Mexican uprising in this country or a Mexican terrorist. But you can be sure about bombings and what nots from people with "legitimate visas" and "asylums."

Is the pot of coffee on? Because I don't think we are smelling it.

I can sit here and tell you why a Comprehensive Immigration Reform is great for this country but honestly that would be a waste of my time and yours because, frankly, you already know. We all are living testament as to why Immigration works for America. We all live it everyday. We are on the forefront of this great invention looking on!

I want to talk to you on your level, fighting fire with fire, so to speak. Maybe then you will understand and get involve with the more obvious side of a law that was once so simple, yet have gotten so complicated.

Every laws in this country is about some bulshit rules to protect things that we are no longer sure about anymore. We are only hearing the opinions of one set group. The rest of America won't speak up to even make it better. The ones who can do something about it won't. Everybody is just self absorbed into their own petty issues to see the bigger picture.

While, in the end, the house is winning!

But I got to say though, that while this country is busy being petty, the other bigger countries are busy thriving.

Sometimes when life hands you  a curve ball, question it.  And when you have exhausted the alternative, you WILL hit a  home run.

Imagine this and indulge me for a second. It's Tuesday, November 8th, 2016. 6:30am until 9pm. The polls are all opened but there are no lines, nobody waiting in them to vote. Nobody showing up, nobody caring. We have more pressing issues to tend to in our homes, schools, offices or whatever. Too busy to even think about voting. This happens everyday in the political sphere. Politicians are too busy doing everything else other than the things that they swore they were gonna do, should they be elected. What's gonna happen when the tables turn? I hope I live to see the day.

As always,
Sleepless.

P.s. I will now leave you with a little something from Rabbi Israel Salanter.

"When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realized the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world."

Meet: Aaron Smyth ( Vann Music)

So,

I was chatting with a friend of mine who lives in Ireland.  He was telling me about the music scene there.  I asked him what was good and he told me about a band that was formed last year, (2012). He told me they are really good and I should check them out.  This piqued my interest and of course, clearly, I gave them a listen.

https://soundcloud.com/vannmusic

Now, a little background on me and music. I am usually not that person who likes to go to concerts and blah blah blahs. I would rather work an event to make the time passed by quickly. I bartend (please get your heads out of the gutter), so not many people know the type a genre of music I am into. Getting me to listen to a band or singer is like setting me up on a blind date.  Well, the point I am trying to make is that I don't know what kinda guys I am into. I just have to be present to see if we connect. Same goes for music.

But this time my friend was right and he'd hit a home run with this blind date, so to speak. I like this band, so much so, that I got everyone to listen to them. Well everyone I know.

THEY ROCK!!!!!

Their single Life In Real Time is a hit.

It's so smooth and catchy, that, it brought me back to a time where I actually enjoyed music for the melody, lyrics and the simplicity of just jamming. It made me happy.  So, for the next two weeks I couldn't stop talking about this band to anyone who had an ear or two.

I played it at the bar, people's house-(parties), in the car, in the back of a taxi (well once to my gay friend to which he replied, saying, yea they are cute and all but, are there any black boys in Ireland. He is white btw ha ha).  What can I say? When I get excited, I get excited.

The name of the band is Vann Music.

And, I happened to have the pleasure of chatting it up with their front man for a minute. Watch out for this band, they are about to cross over soon (America that is), and they are gonna be HUGE!!!!!!

AND, they are not bad on the eyes for the young ones who are not afraid to dance, and scream, and jive to great music.

But enough from me,

Let's have a chat with Aaron.....

Name: Aaron Smith

Age: Guess!

Status: Involved

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Job: Singer

Hail From: Dublin, Ireland

Where Ya Bed At: At the back of the house

Why Dublin: It's where I arrived kicking and screaming

Best Place To Eat In Dublin: Ooooh that's a tough one, depends on my mood, Little Steps Of Rome (Italian) or Konkan (Indian)

When's Bedtime: When my eyes can no longer stay open

What's the one thing you have to have with you at all times: My Wits

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were: 16

Tell me about music and the love affair you have with it: I would be completely lost without it

If life is so short, how would you rather spend your days: To be at the beach at sunrise, eggs & coffee for breakfast & making music for the rest of the day.

Next 3 Years: VANN MUSIC

What Is Your Greatest Fear: Losing the people I love

If you could tell the world one thing: Turn off the light on your way out

Favorite thing you have ever done with a friend: The first time we went to a music festival

Where are you gonna be when you die: Las Vegas with everything I have riding on blackjack!

If you could only have dinner with 3 people for the rest of your life, who: The worlds top 3 Michelin starred chefs, I'd be well fed!

Worst thing about Dublin: The Rain

Best thing about Dublin: Going for drinks with friends at Christmas time

What city in America you would really like to play: New York


Well there you have it my Sleeplessers (because this is what I am calling you now). Aaron and the rest of Vann Music are about to invade your space and atmosphere, in a great way. I will catch them for a show in the Big Apple one of these days. It was my pleasure and I am sure you guys cannot stop hitting the links....he he he. Enjoy!

As for me, it is Fashion Week, so I am gonna go see about an after party. I will let you guys know what trouble I get into. Tune into the next blog for details......

As fashioners do,
Sleepless

Vermont, BCF Style..........

So I went on a great trip up to Vermont this past weekend and it was a warm and jolly good time. This trip reminded me of better times and how quickly us younger folks take things for granted with all our whining and bulshitting around.

Camp!

How enjoyable life can be if we just let it. How great families can be if we don't rush to leave every time we go home.

After a seven hour drive and four states later, we arrived in Duxbury, Vermont at about 10:30pm. It was pitch black and we were guided by the moonlight and electric lights beaming from the houses. I knew I was gonna have a good time because there were no street lights to be found and honestly they were not needed. We got to the house at the bottom of the mountain and I was immediately greeted by Kate's mom and a big old bear hug. I then met Kate's cousin and she refused to shake my hand, because "in this family we hug". I felt right at home. We drove up the mountain to the cabin, which we all now coined as "Camp". The night air was fresh and I could only imagine what I was gonna wake up to the next morning. We got to the cabin and I was greeted with more smiles and hugs and beers and laughs and seeing as though we were all tired we all went to bed soon after.

Our weekend began...

Everything about summer in the mountains reminded me of the country area I grew up in in Jamaica, and for the first time in a long time I felt a sense of peace. Not just that peace that you hear people go on and on about when they are trying to convince someone that they are doing ok. I meant a genuine, just warm fuzzy feeling, that only true love can experience.

I woke up the next day to the sounds of laugher, and the smell of coffee and bacon and french toast. It felt like christmas morning and I couldn't wait to get out of bed, because we all knew if you are the last one out, then you get to open your present last. *Cough* Shelly. Lol.  The fresh mountain air was incredible and Moxie (Kate's dog) couldn't stop frolicking about and you know what?, I was right there with her.

We had a lovely Saturday. We sat around and told jokes and have some lovely cocktails, and our little six became seven at some point during the day. We drank some more and more joke telling. We went for a two hour hike along the creek and we picked berries and chatted and strolled and took in the sweet mountain air, and I got to know some of the most beautiful people that god have ever made. Reminded of my family and the only thing that could make this moment a little more special was to have them join me on the fun!

It's funny how you have friends for years and you wonder what it will be like when you finally meet the people responsible for raising them, and I have to tell you a lot of friendships have been broken up because of this. Your friends can be wonderful, but they can have some atrocious parents and family base. But not Kate. Her family is just the way you would imagine from hanging out with her, and a little bit more, with a lot of love oozing from their veins with a little blackberry and granola cobbler on top.

That was orgasmic btw....Great job Donna!!! And I'm gonna take this time to give a shout out to Auntie Kathy for the Salmon P. Wiggle. I had three servings.

We ended the night by playing a nice game of Phase 10. I mean I think I won, but the score sheet says otherwise, so I demand a rematch the next BCF weekend. I still don't know what BCF means ha ha. I think I was somewhere else when you guys came up with the name. Ummm!

Sunday came around and we all packed up our little belongings and boarded the pick up express and headed down the mountain and away from The Best Weekend in history. I challenge anyone who think they can top this weekend. But not before we took a tour, or somewhat of a tour, of the first Ben and Jerry's ice cream factory. Oh Vermont, just when I thought I was leaving you found a way to rope me back.

There are a bunch of things I got from this weekend: Thanks Shelly
A moose shed is not a small building.
You can't buy sparkling water at a water bar.
A scat is....well you guys may have to tune in to find that one out. But let's just say it could belong to a bear, a fox, a coyote or a deer.
Oh and Love, Johnny boy was right, All You Need Is Love!

One thing I know for sure is that when I have my own family I hope I have half the patience and love for them as I saw this weekend.

So I take my umbrella, kick off my flip flops and grab a cold one to a great bunch of folks I have had the pleasure of spending a weekend with. Here's to next year ladies. May we have more wines, wine coolers, beers, Salmon P. Wiggles and a jolly old good time.

Muah!

Sleepless

We Are United In Our Differences.....

Man today was one of those days and as I sit here sipping on my mango margarita I reflected and smiled.

I had one of those days that I thought was perfect! 

You try to decipher. 

Tuesday August 27, I got up at about 10:30am which is pretty early for me considering that I usually get up about 1pm if I am lucky and about 3pm if I really don't have to work. So that should have been a clue that it wasn't gonna be an easy day.

Ok fast forward to evening time and I was feeling relaxed. I knew I didn't have to work so I made plans with ma girl to go to yoga! Fun!

Now I should tell you that my phone has been dead since Monday seeing as though I left my charger at work on Sunday. I know I was gonna be in the city later so I would just get my charger then, right? 

There are two lessons to be learnt today and I got a full class. 

Lessen one:

I went to yoga and it was wonderful, got to work to get my charger and it was closed so I did what any normal being would do after a good yoga session and that was collected my charger and kept it moving. Got back to Daphnee's apartment because we were gonna have dinner and chat.  Charged my phone and the messages kept pouring in.

So something you have to know now, living in 2013, is that if you don't have your phone on you or if your phone is dead you are presumed dead to the rest of the world. So not only was Maya searching all over the place for me she started to Facebook message everyone that she knew in my life and have them searching for me. I was like what??? Why??? Really?? This is too much. Now you got the guy downstairs ringing my doorbell and shit? I mean it's just a day! but I guess shit happens right?

But I appreciated it and I hope you guys don't think this is my wolf moment and should anything happen to me for real no one will come a calling.

So lessen two:

Now on the way from the train to Daphnee's house she asked me why I was an activist for HIV. I literally told her why aren't we all activists? Ha ha that's the Jamaican in me, always answering a question with a question.

She then said I know,  but why HIV? (Daphnee likes to analyze things, so she will asked you a question and then follow that question up with a similar question as the first question to understand your answer) I told her because I think people are not talking about it enough and they feel that because now you can pop a pill and live longer, that it's not a death sentence anymore, but truly because of the stigmas and the hush hush about it, it's now becoming a life sentence. I told her if I can get one person asking me about one post or just liking one post I feel like I helped someone. 

Fast forward to her apartment and was checking my messages and low and behold I got a message from a friend and it goes a little something like this:

Do you have HIV?

Now that's all sorts of wrong. That is not the way you want to go about asking that question and I would have thought that people were aware of the 'other' groups of people such as myself that actually fight for things they believe in not because they are INFECTED but because they are AFFECTED. I know too many people with this disease, and when I try to educate myself about it, from their experiences, they know nothing of the sort, AND, they are living with it! So my goal is, if I can help myself and others from not being infected, and to open up the conversations and keep it flowing, then it will help in this epidemic in which there is no known cure, today and for the future. I mean I can go on and on about this, but honestly I am happy that I can trigger such reactions. 

Shouldn't we all be united in our differences AND, for our differences?

It's just like the time I was asked, again, on Facebook if I was a lesbian because of a similar post about human rights. I mean come on people grow up!  I am an activist for HUMAN RIGHTS! I don't have to be gay or have a certain disease to fight for something in a world where people are being discriminated against. I mean not long ago, because I am black, a lot of opportunities weren't afford to me, but because of people like me, today I can enjoy some luxury without having to worry if I will get beaten or lynched! 

Think about it. What are we waiting for to ACT UP? Say something so you can create a better world for the next generation!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwhFS1mUaVY  How to survive a plague!

Stop talking about celebrities and their useless boring lives. I don't give a fuck. That's not why I am here, to help the fortunates? I am here to lend a voice to the ones who can't speak but wants to. My future children and their friends and the ones who have passed on and didn't get to finish their work. 

I mean it's all good and fine that I am been ask these questions, but I say do it in a forum that others can join in and not a private message. I don't care if you think I am gay or have every diseases known to man. My goal is to get you talking and to keep you talking and I have to say the mission is slowly being accomplished.

Be blessed, I love you! Sat Nam!

Sleepless

Something about just knowing when its right...............

I believe in soul mates.

Call me crazy.


I believe that there is one person out there for everyone. Will everyone get to meet that person? Sure, at some point in their lives, whether they get together or not. Are they always destined to stay together? Not really, because one person's soulmate can be someone else's  husband or wife. There's a great wonderment that happens, when expectations meets reality. Its never always as how we think. Expectations are how we perceive a situation is going to be. Reality is what happens when we are busy expecting the perceived outcome.

I have a theory and it might be true. I believe everyone gets to meet their soulmate at some point. I believe it does happen and we always know.

I know a story of this lady who was in a kinda sorta relationship with this guy when he had to move pretty much halfway across the country. They were destined to make it work, but as we all know long distance relationships are never possible, and the ones that do make it are exceptions not the rules. So anyways she happened to be on the train one morning and for some reason the train stops. A stranger started to exchange small talks with her and she spoke back to him lightly as not to be rude. The train started, she rushed off but not before the stranger asked for her number, to which she gave him her business card and got off the train, not really thinking much of it. She went on to visit her so-called boyfriend all the way across the country. He was doing well and she was doing well. Weeks later she had to leave work early because of an emergency. This usually never happens. She was on the platform getting off  the train, when she spotted the stranger on the other side. He waved and they continued with their evenings. It was not until the third time they ran into each other that he finally asked her out. She accepted because she was trying to give something else a chance for once. He was usually not her type and when they went to dinner they  had a great time so much so that she called the long distance boyfriend and called it quits. They are married today, That was about five years ago. The funny thing about how this all came about. She asked her now husband why he didn't call her after the first meeting. He told her that he thought she was trying to brush him off by giving him her card. She told him she was late for work because of the train and she was just trying to get out of the train at her destination. She also asked him why he didn't come after her on the platform. He said he didn't want to seem weird or like a stalker. The he said, "Did you know we were gonna get married when we met?" She said, "No, I was dating someone at the time who was completely my type, but was living all the way across the country and I actually was seeing him at the time of our first date."  She said, "why, did you?" He said, "Yes! From the very moment I saw you on the train." She told me the story and you can tell that they are still in love. Don't we all wish we can have these rom com moments? They do exist but you have to be a romantic, gullible fool, who is willing to believe.

I believe!

Then there are stories like this.

I know another lady who thought she had met the love of her life, over some ten years plus. The one thing was he was in a committed relationship. This said woman was so sure of it that even when the guy got married she kept in touch because she has never felt this way about any guy before.Well anyone for that matter. Was this love? Are they soul mates? I am not quite sure. I also believe that there is such a thing called unrequited love. This is when one person is completely enamored with another, whom will not return such a love. This is very tricky and it can make you feel like this is your true love and that one day he/she will wake up and realized all the things that you knew all along. This is the making of a bad rom com and usually you get so build up on the friendship road that you waste most of your flirting days pining away for someone who is never gonna love you, and even if you finally get together. You were always their second or third choice. That is not cool and shouldn't be practiced. But to each their own.

They say when you meet the ONE you will know. You will just know!

No one can really describe that moment, but you can always tell the people who are spending the rest of their days with their soul mates. I read this thing once a long time ago. I don't quite remember where I got it from but it always stuck with me. It said, marry someone you have great conversations with, because when you are older that's all you have to look forward to. I'm not quite sure how I feel about that now. That was all fine and deep when I was in my twenties. But now I am in my Thirties I want it all. I want the passion, the conversations, the fun, the excitement, the sports lover, the music lover, the quiet times, the sensitivity, the emotions, the physicality, the father, the husband, the human, THE MAN!. I want it all. I have waited this long and not settling so I think I deserve it. Well at least that's what my oldest sister wish for me and you know what, she is mostly never wrong.

So how do you spot your soulmate? I say you don't, you will just know when the time is right.

We were at a restaurant the other day and the owner proceeded to come over to tell us a cute story. I don't know, maybe he was drunk, or maybe we look like the kinds of people in need of a cute story.
He said he was out one night and he met this girl from South Korea.  Now he was from South Africa. He said she actually told  him that he was going to be her husband and he thought that was strange given that one, she was Asian and two, women don't usually speak like that, well, not to him at least. But fours years later they are engaged. He seems to be happy and again I wasn't quite sure why he felt the need to share that story with us, but what I am trying to say is that when you know you know.  It's like that feeling you get after seeing an ex and you know you are over him/her when you can look at that person and think to yourself. "Eww I had sex with you, what was I thinking?

There's something about knowing when it's right!

I am a hopeless romantic and I like it that way. I am that person that will jump over the moon for love if my heart tells me to. This is why I take my time with love, because I am trusting that when I know I will know and because there is no need to hurry when I am making up my mind.

As rainy as it is now,
Sleepless.

iF yoU 'see' Kay You!

Now the world don't move to the beat of just one drum and why should it? I learned a long time ago that if all the birds in the forest were to be singing, then what a dull forest that would be. People should be themselves no matter what. So why is it that we live in societies where everything that makes us individuals and humans are shunned? Who came up with this concept and why is it still going on?


I hate hate, even though at times I wish I could hate the law makers. They are such bulshiters and nobody breaks the law more than the people who burn sweat and tears to implement them. Now don't get me wrong, I am all for rules and guidelines, but that's all they should be, GUIDELINES, not a basis to dictate how a person should live. I get really hot blooded about this whole marriage act and marriage equality thing. Why is this even an issue to begin with? I am in awe that a country who's  motto is in God we trust, is doing everything furthest from. If you really trust in God, then you would know that not one of the ten commandments say anything about abolishing the equal rights of humans. I should know I own a bible. Be careful, Thou shall not take the name of the lord in vain, because God will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

I am all for same-sex love, hetero love, animal love, because as long as we are loving that's all that should matter, right? Why shouldn't we take love over any other thing any other day? Why are we shunning some love and accepting some? Where does it say that in your bible? My bible clearly states that we should love everyone as we love ourselves. So in all fairness, it is safe to say that the people who are so gung ho on abolishing any form of love other than "straight" love, hate themselves?  Isn't. That. Just. Sad? Isn't that the problem and shouldn't that be the issue we focus on, as oppose to telling two tax paying, law abiding citizens that it is illegal for them to show their true colors, so to speak, in public?

Such Bulshit!

I mean, if we are gonna hate, how about we hate the people who think guns should be legal? How about them coo coo ca choos? What sane person would still be all about guns after all the damages it caused? I say, if we went all the way back, waaaay before guns were even thought of, and silence the first guy, cause I am sure it was a guy, who came up with the idea to let's make a gun, so many innocent lives would still be here today, and we would have to come up with a better solution to punish the people who wronged us, so to speak. Yea why are the Lawmakers so vocal about sticking with the guns, but they can't come up with a simple solution to Immigration? Is this even plausible, that you would look at a nation, that WAS founded upon immigration, that wouldn't even BE a nation if it wasn't for immigration, to tell others that, "Well see the thing is, say, now that we are here, say, you are not welcome here, say."

No seriously, such BULSHIT!

Oh and all the starving kids in the world, why IS it such a fucking hassle to adopt a kid to give them a good home? See I get the point that if I take your kid, and raise that kid, you can't or don't get to come back and just take that kid. I get that part. But isn't a quick sign off of papers enough? Why all the bulshit back stories? And don't even get me started on mothers who can't even take care of their kids, but get racist or bigoted when a gay couple wants to adopt. I mean if you can't get it together to raise your child, the one you enjoyed sex to have, the last thing you need to be is racist. Because clearly you fornicated and the last time I checked, that is also a no no in the bible.

I mean, come on people get it together! Stop all the BULSHIT and just love one another. How come I got that from the bible and you guys didn't? Oh, I see, I got the special edition, and there was only one copy and it was in my house?

Gosh.....

And while I am venting, Fox News, really! Really?

As always,
Sleepless.